What Should a Toddler Actually Play With?

Walk down any toy aisle and you will see a lot of promises. Smarter. Faster. Educational. Interactive. It is hard to know what actually matters for a toddler.

The good news is that pediatricians have looked at this question directly, and the answer is simpler than the boxes suggest.

In 2019 the American Academy of Pediatrics published a clinical report called Selecting Appropriate Toys for Young Children in the Digital Era. It was written to help doctors help parents choose toys. A few of its points are worth knowing before the next birthday.

Play comes first, the toy comes second

The report starts where the first piece in this series started: play is essential to a child's development. It contributes to how children think, move, get along with other people and handle their feelings.

A toy is just the thing in the middle of that. The report describes toys as an instrument of play and interaction. That second word matters. A toy is at its best when it gives a child and a grown-up something to do together.

Look for talking, pretending and problem-solving

The report points to play with a caregiver that is rich in language, pretending, problem-solving and creativity.

That is a useful checklist for any toy. Will we talk while we play with it? Can it be something other than what it is? Is there a little problem in it to work out? Can the child make up their own way to use it?

Blocks pass that test. So does a set of cups that nest and stack, a ball, a toy kitchen, a doll, a box of crayons or an actual cardboard box. None of them do very much on their own. That is exactly why they work. The child, and the grown-up next to them, do the doing.

A toy is a broad idea

One of the more freeing parts of the report is how widely it defines a toy. It is not only what comes from a store.

A wooden spoon and a pot are a toy. So are a blanket over two chairs, a stack of books to build with and a laundry basket that turns into a boat. If a child is playing with it, and it matches the age guidance on the package, it counts.

What about digital toys?

The report also addresses digital, screen-based toys. Its point is not that they are bad. Its point is that there is a lack of evidence that they bring the same developmental benefits as more traditional play with a caregiver.

That is a fair way to hold it. A tablet game is not the enemy. It just is not a replacement for the floor, the blocks and the person playing along.

Safety still comes first

The report raises safety and health hazards around toys as well. For toddlers, the practical habits are reading the age guidance on the package and keeping small parts out of reach.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission publishes toy recalls at cpsc.gov, so you can look up a specific toy before it comes into the house.

The best test is the second time

Here is the test I keep coming back to. After the first time, does the child want to play with it again, in a new way?

A toy that only does one thing tends to get done. A toy that leaves room for the child to invent tends to come back out tomorrow, and the day after, a little differently each time.

The child, and the grown-up next to them, do the doing.

If you are standing in a toy aisle this week, pick the simple thing you can play with together. Then get down on the floor. Let's get kids playing again.

This is not medical advice. A pediatrician is the person to ask about your own child.